Aaah. Bloody marvellous, I says to me self. Today’s post is going to be a random chitty chatty one; just like one of me mates suggested not too long ago before this blog was started. No serious stuff like keeping fit and being healthy. Although it’s going to be bloody difficult to talk about the things I used to love and still miss sometimes. The brain doctor said it would do me no good. I have to keep on fighting the good old fight like old Churchill once upon a time said to all and sundries all those years ago when the nasty Jerries were about to overrun the country that me mum and dad were growing up in.
Girls and blokes, I suppose its well worth quoting the old bugger’s famous words for later reference and just in case any of youse (and me) needs some uplifting like. Let’s see if I can remember those famous (never last, but never-ending) words. Ah yes, it goes something like this then;
Never, ever, ever give up.
So, blokes, no matter what you’re hammering on about in life, try not to be too hard on yourself and always do your best. The Queen won’t mind if you slip and fall every now and then. After all she’s got hundreds of servants to help her out with her chores in any case. And by the way, the Queen’s human too. She must have made many mistakes in her life of nearly a hundred bloody years. She’s got to go to the bogs every now and then too, doesn’t she? But, then again, she’s probably got some or another Jeeves standing by to, pardon me, wipe her behind for her.
Fancy that, hey? Having someone to make it all nice and clean and tidy and all of that, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more if you know what I mean, love. Like having a pooper scooper for humans. Imagine going down to the mall to by your own, state of the art pooper scooper and the sales lady asking you all nice and polite like. What size, ma’am. And you says to her, er, a number four thanks. On special today; two double ply toilet rolls to go along with your new poop scoop.
And so it goes, I was getting ahead of me self. But its chitty chatty stuff, innit. Now, for those aspiring scribes out there, think of it this way, especially if you’re at a loss of words for what to say to your chums and all. Just open a clean page on your Word Pro or Note Book and start typing fast like. Even if it seems like it’s a load of crap, as the case was a little while back in this here lovely post of mine, just keep those fingers typing merrily along.
It’s good for the creative juices and all. Soon the ideas will come spurting forward like there’s no tomorrow and you really need to get to the lavatory yesterday before your bladder bursts and causes a tsunami in your village. It’s also good for the mind. Me doctor told me once upon a time that it’s no wonder I survived and all. It was kind of a goodish shield for my dark days. I could churn out words verbally or on paper, like there was no tomorrow.
And no, chums, this is not verbal diarrhoea. Look it up in the dictionary if you please. Gosh, will you look at the time, love. Time to go already. Time flies when you’re having fun, don’t it.